I'm going to try my hardest to remain anonymous throughout my journey here. I have family and friends that would be ashamed of my lifestyle choices and the stories I want to share.

I used to write fanfiction when I was in high school and college and I'm starting to notice my creativity is diminishing since I stopped...

And so I'm creating this blog as a final straw. I finally had the wakeup call that I needed this weekend. When I totaled my car completely wasted with my husband in the passenger side. After it happened, I laughed. I cheated death again and it was funny for some fucking reason. All I could think about was how I needed another drink and pissed off I was that the man at the gas station wouldn't sell my husband beer after my shitty parking job in the lot.

I lost it that night... I realized how stupid I was maybe thirty minutes later of my poor husband panicking. He was drunk too... but not as bad as me. I got lucky. Again. I don't know how I'm cheating death but for me and my husband, we have to get better.

Even if this is just my personal diary and no one reads it, or if a million people read this, or even if just one person does; I want you to know I'm here and alive and ready for a change.
It's going to be scary.
It's going to take a long time.
It's not only for me, but for my husband, family, friends, and my adorable dog that wants me to come home at night.
Any advice is always welcomed. Please, just keep negative comments away.
I'll listen to your stories as well. And I'll help you as much as I can. Or maybe someone else can help us both.

And so, this is my SOS.